Green Tee Readings

This is one of those entries that I should probably think twice about since I blog under my real name. Clearly, a second thought didn’t cross my brain. Whatever.

At work there’s been discussion of a Beer Olympics, consisting, as one might expect, of different teams performing in different events, all related to drinking beer. Since I don’t ever drink competition style, and since I generally hold a high regard for actually tasting my beer and savoring its delicious, delicious nature, I’m a bit of a lightweight when it comes to drinking. I’m also entirely too competitive for my own good, so I’ve kind of decided to train for this. I know. I’m clearly not thinking this through. I hope Step 9 won’t be too bad.

Today after work I went to a local liquor store and picked up some beer. Today’s haul is a six pack of 1554: Enlightened Black Ale from New Belgium Brewing. Part of my reason for purchasing this was to keep my Beer Snob badge, because I also picked up a six pack of Bud Light cans. I know. I’m ashamed for me too. Fear not, I picked up a Lambic beer too, so I think I’m okay. No one’s come to my door yet to revoke my “I like to not drink horse piss” card. (Yes, I really a beer snob. I’ve asked what’s on tap at a pizza/Italian place before and said “well, I’ll just have water, thanks.” I’m that guy.)

Anyway, I got home and cracked open a 1554. It was really good, with lots of flavor and easy going down. A++, Will Buy Again. I’m unsurprised, because Fat Tire is a really great beer. Then after fixing an issue with another household computer (it’d been assigned an IP address on the network that’s filtered) I opened a Bud Light and rediscovered the, um, interesting idea of alcohol flavored water.

Seriously, how do people look forward to drinking this stuff? Did they only like weak apple juice as children? Did they grow up on well water and always expect what they drink to have a slightly weird aftertaste? Do they have super-sensitive taste buds and think that wheat bread and provolone cheese have overpowering flavors? Whatever it is, unless it’s a “need cheep alcohol” thing, I just don’t get it. By the same token, I don’t get any other Miller or Bud labeled products that I’ve tried, either. They all lack flavor fullness, and I find that objectionable.

While I’m on the subject of flavor, I’d like to mention that the “Once you’re drunk, it all tastes the same” theory is, for me, complete bunk. Goose Island Christmas Ale? It tastes like Christmas trees every time I have it. Every time, every bottle. Bud Light? Still tastes like nothing. The fourth or fifth bottle of O’Hara’s Irish Stout tasted just as good as the first. That stuff, in case you’re wondering, is what Guinness wants to be when it grows up. It’s really good. Any bottle of Duchesse? The best fermented thing ever, except for the unopened bottle in my fridge. Anticipation is a good thing, and Duchesse always lives up to the hype.

So the long and short of it is: 1554 from New Belgium is Good! If my posting in the near future is incomprehensible or suddenly good, I’m in training and I’ll return to normal soon. Bud Light is still not good beer.

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